The Commander: Red, Hot, & Blue, Book 12 Read online

  Jack arrived in the kitchen first. “Morning, Mama.”

  Lois shut the oven door and smiled at her middle son. “Morning, darlin’.”

  “You look like you’re in a good mood today.” Usually oblivious to everything, Jack looked at her more closely today.

  Lois busied herself at the coffeemaker and tried to look casual. “Of course. What’s there not to be happy about?”

  “Morning. Coffee done yet?” Jared kissed her on the cheek and reached for a mug.

  “Just done now.” When she turned with the coffee carafe in hand, he frowned at her.

  “Didn’t you sleep well last night?”

  “Why do you ask?” Lois took his cup and filled it, and then busied herself with wiping the coffee she’d spilled on the counter.

  “You just look a little tired, is all.” Jared continued to watch her.

  She shrugged. “Big day yesterday.”

  “I guess.” Jared took his coffee to the table and sat.

  Jeez, when did her sons get so observant? Most days they wouldn’t notice if she served breakfast with her hair on fire. Thank goodness, Jimmy was already gone on his honeymoon or he’d be interrogating her too.

  “Where are the girls?” Lois couldn’t continue to feel paranoid and cook so she took matters into her own hands.

  “Getting dressed.”

  “A proper gentleman would pour his lady a cup of coffee and bring it up to her.”

  Jared’s brows rose. “Um. A’ight. Don’t want anyone saying a Gordon man ain’t treating his lady proper, now do we, Jack?”

  “Guess not.” Jack shot Lois a look and then took the mug Jared handed him. “Do I have to bring her breakfast in bed too, Mama?”

  “No. But stay out of here until I call and tell you it’s ready. I had my kitchen taken away from me yesterday by those caterers Lia’s daddy paid for, but I’m taking it back today. So shoo, both of you, and don’t come back until I tell you.”

  They sent her a few more strange looks, but finally she was alone. Once she had the room back to herself, she headed to the pantry to grab more sugar to refill the bowl before company arrived. She was just stretching to reach the canister on the shelf above her head when someone grabbed her waist. She jumped.

  “Mmm, good morning.” Nuzzling close behind her, Hank kissed her neck.

  “You scared me.”

  “I wouldn’t think you’d be so tense after last night. I need to work on my relaxation technique.” He turned her in his arms and grinning, slid his hands down her back to cup each jean-clad butt cheek.

  “You’re going to get us caught. People will be here any minute looking for food.”

  “Mmm, this is all I need.” He nibbled on her lip.

  Pressed against her the way he was, she had no problem feeling his need.

  She knew she should pull away, but she didn’t. Up against the shelves of canned goods, she leaned her head back and enjoyed his kisses. Tried to memorize how his tongue tasted of toothpaste and he smelled of aftershave so she could revisit the memories later when he was gone and she was lonely.

  These memories might have to last a long time.

  Chapter Eight

  “Hello?”

  “Hey there, pumpkin. How’s my favorite girl doing?” After hearing his daughter’s voice through the receiver, Hank Miller leaned back in his desk chair and let his eyes drift closed. It had been a long day already, and he still had a long night ahead of him.

  Hell, it had been a long week. A long, lonely, frustrating week.

  “Daddy. You just caught me. I was on my way out the door.”

  He cracked an eyelid open and glanced at his watch. “It’s twenty-two hundred hours.”

  “Yes.” She sighed. “Dad, I’m twenty-three years old. Jeez. Nobody my age goes out before ten on a weekend.”

  “At your age I was married to your mother and in the Army, and she just had you, so neither one of us was going out anywhere.” Scowling, he decided to get back to the reason for the call. “I just called to say I love you.”

  “I love you too.” Mary paused. “Daddy, is everything all right?”

  “Sure. Fine.” Hank heard the concern in his daughter’s voice.

  “You’re going away someplace horrible, aren’t you?”

  For the first time, he realized what being his daughter had cost her. “No, pumpkin. Just a training mission.”

  “At twenty-two hundred hours?”

  He smiled as she turned his own words against him. “Night HALO jumps. Piece of cake, I swear.”

  “Daddy, high-altitude low-opening parachute jumps at night are so not a piece of cake.”

  He’d obviously over-shared with her when she was growing up. It made it hard to reassure her now.

  Hank opened his mouth to comfort his daughter when there was a knock on his door. “Hold on, Mary.” He covered the mouthpiece on the phone before he called, “Come in.”

  The door opened and John Blake stuck his head in. “Sorry to disturb you, Commander. Coleman says to tell you we better roll out if we’re going to make it to the airfield on time.”

  “Thanks, Blake. I’ll be done in a second.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  Hank nodded his dismissal and waited for the door to close again. “I’ve got to go, pumpkin.”

  “Stay safe, Daddy.” Mary’s voice sounded so small, it took him back to when she’d been a child. Every time he’d left for a deployment, or later in his career, for a mission, saying goodbye to Mary would tear a piece of his heart out.

  “I will. Don’t worry about me. Say hi to your mother.” It never hurt to have all his ducks in a row before full-dark HALO jumps. Though there was one person he’d wanted to call and hadn’t.

  Hank replaced the phone in its cradle on his desk. The desk in his office that held nothing personal. No family photos. No mementos. Here, he was commander of the men of Special Task Force Zeta. Someone to be respected and sometimes feared. He couldn’t be those things and be human too. He didn’t want his team to see him as a man with a failed marriage, a two-room bachelor apartment and a twenty-three-year-old daughter he still called pumpkin. Nothing was here that belonged to Hank Miller the man, only the commander, and that’s the way he wanted it.

  Until that trip to Pigeon Hollow, he’d thought he was okay with the way things were. That he was content being Commander Miller to the men, and Dad to Mary. The problem was now content didn’t feel good enough. He wanted what he’d felt those few days with Lois. What he hadn’t felt again since he’d said goodbye that morning after brunch. But then what was the point? Until he retired, starting a long-distance relationship while on active duty and in command of Lois’s sons would be lunacy.

  And that was all he was going to let himself think about that tonight, because training or not, leaping from a plane at thirty-thousand feet required all of his concentration.

  The desk chair scraped along the floor as Hank stood. He wouldn’t let his team see him as a person, would never let them know he’d left a little piece of his heart and a whole lot of regret back in that farmhouse, but he would jump out of a plane on a dark, moonless night alongside these men.

  He’d be damned before he’d let himself become one of those leaders who asked his team to do something he wasn’t ready, willing and able to do himself. Any one of his men would give their lives for him without hesitation, as he would for them. That was what being a team was about.

  Hank thought of his ex-wife and her new suit-wearing civilian husband as he strode toward the door and the men waiting for him. Compared to a nine-to-five job, plummeting to the ground at 130 miles per hour didn’t seem so bad. In fact, he’d always found it to be a very freeing experience. That, in a nutshell, was why there were men born to the call of duty and others born to sit behind a desk, answering phones and wearing a necktie all day.

  Nope. There had never been any doubt in Hank’s mind which kind of man he was. That point was reinforced as his anticipation for this
jump grew. His adrenaline began pumping the moment he and his team, minus Jimmy who was still on leave, pulled the SUV onto the airfield.

  Hank suited up and pulled on the mask that would allow him to breath one hundred percent oxygen while on the ground. That’s when the reality of getting ready for a HALO jump squashed some of his enthusiasm, because as exhilarating as the jump itself, that’s how boring the pre-jump preparations were. The whole thing was a lot like Thanksgiving dinner—it seemed to take forever to get ready, and then it was all over quick as a wink.

  The hour-long pre-breathe rid the jumper’s bloodstream of nitrogen to prevent the bends that can occur from being over thirty thousand feet up in a non-pressurized cabin. Perhaps his ex was right when she had said his life was too extreme for her to deal with. Hank liked extreme.

  The members of his team pulled out various reading materials and, in one case, a laptop, to kill the time. Looking at the guys, Hank hoped somebody had brought something along for him to read since he’d forgotten. The oxygen mask made normal conversation impossible, so sitting around and chatting was out of the question, and he was too keyed up to nap for an hour.

  Hank rose to make his way over to Matt. He should have some kind of reading material to loan him. Though knowing the team’s computer god, it would be some sort of technology magazine.

  He was just reconsidering his decision and looking around to see who else he could bother, when a gray-haired man wearing a flight suit tapped him on the shoulder. Hank didn’t recognize him, but he had heard there was a new safety officer riding along with them tonight—not that his guys needed anyone to watch them. There weren’t any damn safety officers in the birds with his team when they were inserted into places most people had no idea American military personnel had ever stepped foot.

  “I’m the safety officer on this mission,” the guy yelled to Hank through his mask.

  The words were muffled, but Hank got the gist of it. He extended his hand and attempted to be cordial through the plastic barrier. “Nice to meet you.”

  Niceties complete, Hank turned away, about to go ask Jack for reading material, when he felt another tap.

  The man shook his head and pointed a finger at Hank’s chest. “No. I mean you can go home.”

  Hank frowned. “What?”

  “I’m going up.” He made a hand gesture to indicate up as if Hank wouldn’t get the idea otherwise. “We don’t need two of us for this team.” The guy held up two fingers then pointed to the seated men.

  Now he understood. The safety officer was so new he thought Hank was another instructor.

  “I’m part of this team,” he yelled back, pointing to himself, and then to his men with his thumb.

  “Oh.” The man’s brows shot up and his eyes opened wider. “Sorry.”

  Oh? What the fuck did that comment mean? It wasn’t just any oh either, but a distinctly judgmental sounding one.

  Was this guy, who was no spring chicken himself, insinuating Hank was too old to be a member of this team? All right, some of them were young, but Hank was only twelve years older than the most senior team member, Jimmy Gordon.

  Frowning at the safety instructor’s back as he walked away, Hank turned and stalked over to Matt. He slapped his shoulder harder than he meant to, startling him so he nearly dumped the laptop onto the floor. “You got anything to read?”

  Hank wasn’t in the mood for the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition Matt handed him. He supposed he should be grateful it wasn’t Computer World or something equally boring, but after the oh comment, even these sexy women weren’t doing it for him. He glanced down at the bikini-clad sand-encrusted model and felt nothing. Maybe he was old.

  The next afternoon, Hank sat bouncing the rubber end of a pencil against his desktop while listening to the ringing of the phone through the handset.

  It had been over a week since he’d left Pigeon Hollow and Lois.

  He remembered how they’d parted. She’d fed the crowd and said the goodbyes. He’d gotten everyone and everything loaded into the vehicles, and then he’d run back into the house with the excuse of using the bathroom one last time before hitting the road. Hidden away in the pantry, she’d kissed him as if it would be the last time. Then she’d donned her Southern-hostess smile and wished him a good drive, but he’d seen something else in her eyes. The same thing he felt. Regret that he was leaving.

  Nine long days and nights of trying not to think of her and what they couldn’t have, but after the encounter with the safety officer, Hank had reevaluated a few things.

  The incessant ringing on the line was finally replaced by his daughter’s voice. “Hello?”

  “Hi, Pumpkin.”

  “Hi, Daddy. Sorry, my cell was buried at the bottom of my purse. So, um, how is everything?” His daughter always asked that question sounding reserved. As if she had to feel him out about what was happening because she knew he could never reveal details about where he went or why.

  Hank sighed. It hadn’t been easy being his daughter, but he was about to make things easier. He had no idea how she’d react so he tried to sound upbeat. “Everything is great. I have some news for you.”

  “Okay.”

  “Mary, I’ve…uh…met someone.”

  “Really?” Mary squeaked. “Oh my God, Daddy. I am so happy for you. It’s about time.”

  Hank let out the breath he’d been holding. “I’m glad you’re pleased. I was a little worried how you’d react. It hasn’t been that long since your mother and I broke up.”

  “Daddy. It’s been almost three years, and Mom’s already gotten remarried. I want you to find someone of your own. So who is she? Where did you meet?”

  “Her name is Lois, and we met at a wedding I went to, but we can get to all that later. Don’t you want to hear the other news?”

  “I don’t know. Is it good news or bad?”

  Good question. Hank considered how he felt about it himself. It was a big change, but it was definitely good news, not bad. He hoped everyone else involved felt the same. “I’ve been offered another position.”

  “Um, okay.” There was that wariness again.

  “I’ll kind of be taking a step back from the action. I’ll be doing more training and recruiting. No more missions. Less travel.”

  “Oh, Daddy. That’s great.” Her relief was clear.

  “Yeah, I think it’ll be a good change.” Hank hadn’t always thought so. Back when Central Command had been so impressed with the trainings he ran, and with his recruitment of Blake, they mentioned creating a permanent position for Hank doing just that for all the teams. Back then, Hank had dug his heels in and sworn that he’d lead Zeta until they forced him out. Now he saw things a little differently.

  “Listen, pumpkin. I gotta go, but I’ll call you soon.”

  “Okay, Daddy. Love you.”

  “Love you too.”

  “And, Daddy, I’m really happy about all your news.” Her words made him smile.

  “I’m glad. Talk soon.” Hank disconnected and strode toward the meeting room. He found Jack and braced himself for the next step. “You ready to go?”

  Jack grabbed the keys for the team vehicle. “Yeah, but I’m still not sure why we’re driving two hours to see Jimmy at the farm when he and Lia will be back here at base in two days.”

  “The way you drive, it’s nowhere near two hours, and as for why, you’ll find out when we get there.”

  “Aw, come on, Commander. Not even a little hint?”

  Hank had to laugh at Jack’s persistence. “Has being annoying ever gotten you what you want from me in the past, Gordon?”

  “No, sir.” Jack’s smirk never faltered, even as he shrugged. “Oh, well. At least I get to see Mama again. I wonder if she made pie.”

  “Blueberry.”

  Jack raised an eyebrow. “Sir?”

  Shit. Hank had slipped. He couldn’t let Jack know he’d called Lois. That he’d told her he wanted more. As much as she’d be willing to give him, if tha
t’s what she wanted too. That she’d said yes, she wanted much more.

  “I…uh…called to tell Jimmy we were coming and he told me that your mother had picked blueberries and was making pie.”

  “I love her fresh blueberry pie. Wait until you taste it.” Jack seemed far more concerned with pie than the details about the phone call to Jimmy that Hank had never made. Still, Hank would be happier after he and Jack arrived at the farm and he’d made his announcement. Then there’d be no more lying.

  He worried for the rest of the trip, right up until Jack pulled the SUV up to the house. It was all he could do to not pull Lois into his arms when she stepped out of the door.

  She hugged Jack and then extended her hand to him. “Hank. It’s good to see you again.”

  It didn’t matter that they had to shake hands because her son was there, because her smile beamed as she looked at him. Hank took her hand in his and smiled. “It’s so good to see you again.”

  Jimmy came around the corner of the house. “Commander? Jack? I thought I saw the team vehicle. What are you doing here? Is everything all right at the base?”

  Jack frowned and looked from Jimmy to Hank. “I thought y’all talked about us coming?”

  Time for the truth. “Do you think we could go inside and sit down together? Jared too. I have something to say.” Three sets of hazel eyes watched Hank.

  Jimmy’s mouth hung open for a second before he recovered. “I’ll go get Jared in the barn.”

  “Um, I’ll go with you.” Brows raised, Jack followed his brother.

  Once they were alone, the full glory of Lois’s smile lit her face. “Hi.”

  “Hi.” Hank couldn’t help but grin back. He reached out and squeezed her fingers. “You sure about this, Lois? Once we tell them, it’s all out there.”

  She nodded. “I’m sure. Are you sure?”

  “Absolutely.” Hank let out a nervous breath. “I told Mary about you. She was thrilled. Now all we have to do is tell them.”