Romanced by a SEAL: Hot SEALs Read online

  Did he expect her to say that it was all right?

  That wasn’t going to happen. Not this time.

  She drew in a breath and kept her lips firmly shut, until she couldn’t keep quiet any longer. “This—what we just did—doesn’t mean anything. I’m still mad at you.”

  He bent to scoop up her underwear from the floor. Handing them to her he nodded. “I know you’re still mad, but this couldn’t wait.”

  Sex couldn’t wait?

  Why not? Where was he going? What was he doing and for how long? She almost asked, and then thought better of it.

  Why bother asking? Chances were he wouldn’t tell her anyway and it hurt worse when he dodged the question than if she just didn’t ask at all.

  “Come to bed?” His eyes narrowed with need as he brushed his thumb along her jawline.

  Whether this sudden attention was to make up for lost time or to store up for when he was away—yet again—on some undisclosed danger-filled job, she didn’t know. But apparently Jon wasn’t done yet.

  As much as she wanted to say no, his wanting her was too much for her to resist. It always had been that way between them.

  Ali swallowed away the dryness in her throat. “Okay.”

  They could fight about everything that was wrong between them tomorrow.

  Tonight she was smart enough to take advantage of having the version of Jon she’d fallen in love with back . . . before he disappeared again.

  CHAPTER 3

  The sound of the cell vibrating on the nightstand knocked Jon out of sleep. He reached for it, gripping it tight in his fist to control the noise. Even on vibrate it seemed incredibly loud in the quiet of the bedroom lit by only the pale light of pre-dawn.

  He strode across the room and out the door, pulling it closed behind him before he answered. “Rudnick.”

  “You were still sleeping?” Zane sounded surprised.

  Jon drew in a deep breath and glanced at the closed bedroom door.

  Hopefully Ali had slept through the phone call.

  They’d declared a truce last night—twice—but he knew the fight would resume as soon as she woke and he’d at least like to have some coffee in his system before it did.

  “I was up late. What’s up?” It had to be something for Zane to be calling this early.

  Of course, perhaps he had a six a.m. tee time with the senator or something. Now that Zane was spending more of his time in the Capital than here, thanks to Senator Greenwood’s daughter Missy, anything was possible.

  “You see the news?”

  Jon ran his hand over his face and drew in a bracing breath. “No. What happened?”

  “A SEAL was killed in northern Iraq.”

  “Fuck. ISIS?” Jon guessed.

  “Yes. Reports are pretty sketchy this early. One said a couple of hundred fighters broke through the line at a checkpoint and hit a village. He was sent in as part of a quick reaction force.”

  “They release a name yet?” Jon asked.

  He’d been keeping his voice down to not wake Ali, but still he glanced again at the bedroom door as he moved toward the kitchen.

  “Not yet.” Zane’s tone was grave.

  No doubt they were both thinking the same thing. There was a good chance they’d know the man who’d been killed since he and Zane had only recently left the teams.

  Hell, half of their friends were still active duty.

  Jon started an inventory in his brain to try and remember if his old team was currently stateside or away. He’d have to text Chris Cassidy and see if his brother Brody was home or away. That would give him the answer.

  God, he hoped the team wasn’t in Iraq. One of Brody’s teammates, Rocky, had just gotten married. His new wife Izzy would be going crazy if she saw this on the news while Rocky was away.

  Fuck. This shit needed to end. Not in a decade. Now.

  More determined than ever to go through with his plan, Jon reached for the bag of coffee.

  “I’m going to set up a meeting for as soon as I can.” Zane’s voice brought Jon back to the conversation.

  “A meeting regarding what?” Jon asked.

  “If that operator was really there as part of an advise and assist mission like they’re reporting, I’m thinking the powers that be might be open to a proposal from a private contractor to come in and work in that capacity. Less bad press for the government if one of us is killed helping the Peshmerga than one of their golden boys.”

  Jon let out a snort. “We were their golden boys once.”

  “Which is why GAPS is the perfect choice for them to hire.” There was a smile in Zane’s tone.

  Competitive to the bone. Zane always did have the end goal uppermost in his mind.

  In this case that goal was a contract that would send GAPS to Iraq to train the Kurdish and Iraqi troops in how to defeat ISIS, all while trying to maintain the tenuous alliance between the two.

  But Zane was right. GAPS would be perfect for the job. “All right. See what you can do.”

  “You’ll drive up to make the presentation with me?”

  Jon hesitated. “I’ll try.”

  There was a pause on Zane’s end as well. “What else do you have going on?”

  And here comes the lie. “Just a couple of things going on here I might have to be around for.”

  “Give it to one of the other guys. This is important.”

  “We’ll see. Set the meeting first then we’ll worry about timing.”

  As long as Jon was up in the air waiting for his contact to give him his traveling orders, lying had been even more difficult than it would normally be.

  He hated not having all the information. By the look of how things were going, he would have to get used to operating in the dark.

  He hated deceiving his best friends and the woman he loved. He’d always had to keep details confidential while he was in the teams, but this was different.

  This deception went far deeper. But again, lying to everyone he cared about was something he was going to have to get over.

  Zane let out an audible sigh. “All right. But if you can make it, that would be great.”

  “I hear you. I’ll do my best.”

  “Okay. Talk to you later.” The silence on the other end of the line as Zane disconnected told Jon he didn’t have to bother saying goodbye.

  He shoved his cell in his pocket and was happy to have two hands to use to get the coffee going.

  If Zane was annoyed now over Jon possibly missing a meeting, what was he going to do when Jon disappeared completely?

  Yeah, that would go over like a lead balloon.

  He’d need to repair a few damaged relationships after this was over. Ali. Zane. Probably Rick and Chris would be pissed too.

  God only knew who else would be angry when he left without explanation and then went completely dark. No communications with anyone for at least three months and that was if everything went as planned.

  Jon blew out a breath.

  It had to be done. This latest casualty proved that. No amount of advisors, no matter how highly trained, was going to eradicate a threat as deeply entrenched as ISIS was.

  The battle would go on for years resulting in thousands more casualties on both sides, both military and the civilians caught in the middle. ISIS fighters, and the Iraqi, Kurdish and Syrian troops—they were all canon fodder at this point.

  Defeating this enemy required precision.

  A surgical cutting out of the cancer that had taken hold and spread, and Jon intended to be the man wielding the scalpel.

  The coffee had just started to stream into the carafe when the bedroom door opened.

  “Morning. Coffee’s on.” He braced himself for the rampage.

  “Okay. Thanks.” Ali shuffled in her slippers and overly long pajama pants and leaned into him.

  Surprised, but happy, he wrapped his arms around her. “Tired?”

  “Yeah. Somebody kept me up late.”

  “Sorry.” He smile
d, not feeling bad at all.

  “Who called so early?”

  “Zane.”

  She groaned against his chest at hearing his partner’s name.

  Jon laughed at her reaction. In spite of Zane’s infamous reputation with the ladies, Ali had never fallen under his spell. Lucky for Jon or he might not have ever had a shot with her.

  She pulled away and looked up. “Will you be around tonight?”

  He wished he could give her a yes or no but the truth was he didn’t know.

  If a message came, he could be gone on a moment’s notice. He screwed up his mouth and considered how to answer. “Ali, I don’t—”

  She held up a hand to stop him. “Don’t worry. I’m not cooking a big dinner. I learned my lesson. I’m not doing that again.”

  He figured he deserved that so he stayed quiet and let her continue.

  “Darci invited everyone over. I’ll go if you’re around or not, I just wanted you to know.” She might have woken up sweet and snuggly this morning, but the chill from his missing dinner last night lingered just beneath the surface.

  “If I don’t have a meeting, I’ll be there. Promise.”

  “Okay.” Turning away from him, but not before he saw her scowl, she reached for the coffee pot. “Can you grab two mugs?”

  “Sure.”

  Things were sounding back to normal, but not really. He was smarter than to believe that.

  He had to remember his end goal, which brought up the next question. “Did Darci say who will be there? Is Brody home?”

  Ali shook her head. “No. She said as far as Chris knows the whole team is away. He didn’t know where or for how long—as usual.”

  Her statement was accompanied by the usual annoyance visible in her expression. Ali was the type of person who wasn’t happy unless she knew all the facts. The exact opposite of the kind of woman who should have ever considered dating a SEAL, or even a former SEAL who still worked confidential jobs.

  Yet here they were. Together.

  He took the mug she’d filled for him. “I need to send a quick email.”

  “Sure. Go ahead.” The weary tone in her voice belied the casual reply but he couldn’t let it get to him. Not now.

  Sitting at his desk, he signed into his email account and sent a group message to Brody, Thom, Rocky, Mack and Grant. Then he typed one single line.

  Check in!

  After hitting send, he closed the browser and leaned back in his chair. Now, all he could do was wait—and worry—until one of the active duty guys replied or the media released the name of the SEAL who’d been killed.

  No wonder Ali was so pissed off all the time. Being on this side of the action—the helpless, clueless, waiting side—sucked.

  But the feelings inside him only fueled his determination to help end this bullshit.

  He’d be in the action soon enough.

  CHAPTER 4

  Ali had braced herself all day for the inevitable—Jon backing out of going out tonight—which is why when he strode into the bedroom just as she was finishing getting ready to leave for Darci’s, she had to do a double take.

  “You’re home.”

  He leaned against the dresser and nodded. “I am. You look nice.”

  Scowling, she glanced down at the outfit she’d put on. The waistband on the navy slacks was tight. So much so she’d had to put on a long loose blouse worn untucked to cover the straining buttons and zipper of the pants.

  “Thanks.” She was going to blame her recent weight gain on stress. That was her story and she was sticking to it.

  With a sigh, she reached for the necklace on the dresser. It was a tiny silver heart Jon had bought her for Valentines Day. She loved it. She loved him.

  What she didn’t love was that he’d been so busy with GAPS business that was all he’d done for Valentines Day—hand the gift to her with a store bought card and then leave.

  Maybe she was being a bitch but she’d have gladly traded this or any gift for time with him, for his undivided attention, just for a little while. But those things were in short supply in Jon’s life.

  She drew in and blew out a loud breath annoyed she couldn’t get the clasp open.

  “Let me.” He pushed off the dresser and stepped behind her. Taking the necklace from her hands, he fastened it easily around her neck before leaning low. He brushed his lips against the side of her throat and groaned. “When do we have to leave?”

  “Now.”

  “Hmm. Too bad.” He took a step back and she got a look at his needy expression.

  She turned to face him. “What’s gotten into you lately?”

  He frowned. “What do you mean?”

  “You’re more . . . amorous than usual.”

  He drew his brows lower. “That’s not true.”

  “Okay. Fine.” It didn’t matter what he said, she knew what she knew.

  Since she’d moved in there had been whole weeks when Jon hadn’t laid his hands on her even once. Hadn’t paid attention to anything except for his phone and his computer.

  Jon shook his head, looking as if he was going to argue the point when Ali’s cell phone rang. Darci’s name and photo appeared on the display.

  Happy for a distraction from an argument she didn’t have the time or energy for, Ali reached for the cell and glanced up at Jon.

  “It’s Darci. She might need us to pick up something.” Ali hit the button to answer the call. “Hey, Darci.”

  “Oh my God. You won’t believe this.” Her friend was crying, or maybe laughing. Possibly both at the same time.

  It made it so Ali could barely understand her. “Darci, what’s happening? What’s wrong?”

  “Chris just proposed.”

  Ali’s mouth fell open. She was speechless for a beat before she lifted her eyes to meet Jon’s gaze. Brow raised, he was obviously waiting to hear the answer to her question. When she’d recovered her power of speech Ali repeated, “Chris just proposed?”

  Jon’s eyes widened. He must be as surprised as she was. Chris and Darci had started dating a long while after she and Jon had. Chris and Darci weren’t even officially living together yet.

  Darci continued, “You know how Chris just drove home to Alabama with Brody? It was the weekend all that stuff happened with Rocky and Izzy.”

  “Yes.”

  “He went to ask his grandmother for her wedding ring so he could propose to me.”

  Ali drew in a breath. “Wow. That’s great. I’m, uh, really happy for you.”

  It was horrible to feel envious of her best friend but Ali did. Jealousy. Envy. Anger, that it wasn’t her wearing Jon’s ring on her finger.

  “You have to get over here right away so we can celebrate.”

  So tonight’s get together had become an engagement party. “We were just about to leave.”

  “Good. Hurry up.”

  “Okay. See you soon.” She disconnected the call, realizing now they’d have to stop and pick up a bottle of champagne or something as an engagement gift, which would delay their arrival.

  That might be for the best. She needed to wrap her head around this news before facing Darci and that ring on her finger.

  Cell phone still in her hand, she raised her gaze to Jon. “Chris asked Darci to marry him.”

  “Yeah, so you said.” He narrowed his eyes. “You don’t look very happy about it. I thought you liked Chris.”

  “I do.”

  Jon shook his head. “Then what’s wrong?”

  “Nothing. I guess I didn’t realize they were at this point. They haven’t been together for very long.” She let out a bitter laugh. “Certainly not as long as we have.”

  He pressed his lips together in a thin hard line. “Ali—”

  She held up her hand to stop him. “It was just an observation, Jon. I’m not asking you to make the ultimate sacrifice.”

  They’d already had this discussion, very recently too. Outside on Darci and Rick’s deck right after Jon’s SEAL friend Rocky
had asked a woman he barely knew to marry him.

  Ali didn’t need to repeat that fight. All it would do is reinforce the reality that though Jon was fine with dating her, having sex with her, even living with her, he didn’t feel the need to make it official and marry her.

  He’d never used those exact words but that was the gist of their discussions.

  He could claim it was the distraction of his business, or his constant travel, or whatever that kept him from being able to seal the deal and make their relationship legal, but that didn’t change anything. The fact remained he didn’t need or want them to be married.

  No amount of excuses would ease the pain of that knowledge for Ali. It felt like a rejection, even when he held her as he said it.

  Jon let out a breath and stepped forward. “I love you.”

  “I know.” The tightness in her chest pressed on her heart and she couldn’t bring herself to say I love you back.

  “It’s not a good time right now,” he continued.

  Not a good time.

  She’d heard that excuse from him before when they talked about marriage. The worst part about his argument was that it was so damn vague she couldn’t even argue.

  She stifled a laugh. “I know that too.”

  He brushed a thumb over her cheek. “We’ll get there one day. I promise.”

  God how much she wanted to believe that promise. Believe in him. As Jon pulled her tight against his strong warm chest Ali fought back tears and wished she could believe him.

  CHAPTER 5

  The car ride was silent.

  Usually Jon didn’t mind a peaceful silence but the emotions radiating off Ali seemed incredibly loud. He could only be thankful they weren’t driving too far.

  He was more than happy when they finally arrived at Darci’s place.

  Chris opened the door, a wide grin on his face. “Hey.”

  Champagne bottle in one hand, Jon extended the other. “So, I hear congratulations are in order.”

  “You hear right.” Chris shook Jon’s hand and then accepted a hug from Ali. “Hey, darlin’. Darci’s in the kitchen. You better go look at her ring. She’s been dying to show it off to somebody and you’re the first ones here.”

  Ali laughed. “Okay.”