The Ex Files Read online

  The Ex-Files

  Cat Johnson

  Copyright © 2011 by CAT JOHNSON

  License Statement

  This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This eBook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to www.catjohnson.net to find locations to purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

  The Ex-Files

  Cat Johnson

  As "Plain Jane" Dolan—what an ex once called her—makes her way through her little black book and the men from her past searching for the Mr. Right who got away, there’s another man who makes his way into her little black panties. She can’t deny he feels oh so right.

  Gorgeous and much too young Damian drips sexuality. He serves up both tongue-tantalizing cocktails and mind-boggling orgasms and Jane finds her post-date sexual encounters with the tempting bartender completely irresistible.

  But her soul mate is waiting and there are still more men from her past to re-date—or are there?

  Reader Advisory: Contains smoking hot sex with no strings--but with toys!

  Table of Contents

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Epilogue

  About the Author

  Chapter One

  Jane Dolan grabbed at the rapidly moving ass, trying to slow the man currently pistoning into her at a pace slightly less than the speed of light. It wasn’t easy, kind of like trying to hang on to a jackhammer. One without a handle.

  She sighed and tipped her hips up hoping at least he’d bump her clit one of these times, but his stroke was too shallow. She braced her hands beneath her own ass and tried to change the angle enough he’d hit her G-spot. That was no good either.

  He settled into the expected routine—rapid, machine gun bursts into her, alternating with his favorite move, the vaginal wall bang. That’s what Jane had come to call it to herself and when she described it to her sympathetic friend, Candice.

  Jim’s usual move, the one he was so very proud of even though it sucked, only drove the blunt tip of him into the left and right walls of her vagina, making it feel like she was getting beaten up from the inside. Honestly, if Jane could find the woman in Jim’s past who’d told him this move felt good, she’d happily beat her.

  “Fuck. Oh yeah, baby. Take it. Take it! You like it? Huh? Say it. Tell me you like it.”

  Thank God. Jane knew when he began to curse like a porn star he was nearing the end.

  “Yes, I like it.” She happily complied with his demands just to get it over with.

  “You like it when I fuck you so good?”

  “Yes. I like it.” Jane stifled a sigh and realized she was hungry.

  Was there any pizza left from their take out order or had Jim eaten the last piece? Selfish man that he was, he probably had. Oh, but there was the free order of garlic knots that came with the pizza. Though if he saw her eating those, he’d only make some snide comment about her needing to watch what she ate if she didn’t want to get fat.

  “Oh, yeah. Fuck. Fuck!” Right on schedule Jim emitted a giant roar, the depth of which far outweighed what was warranted by the crappy sex they’d had.

  Then it was done. He rolled over and ran a hand through his hair, patting it into place again. Sweat gleamed on his forehead.

  Jane did have to give him credit, what he lacked in skill he made up for in enthusiasm. Unfortunately, enthusiasm did not an orgasm make. At least not for her.

  He sat up and reached for his boxer shorts. “So I’ve got an early meeting—”

  “That’s fine. I understand. No problem. I, uh, have a morning meeting too.” Anxious to get him out of her apartment, Jane interrupted Jim’s usual lame excuse as to why he couldn’t stay.

  As if she cared he never stayed the night. What would she want him to stay for? Round two of Ram Jane? With another sigh, she grabbed for a few tissues from the box next to the bed and mopped up the stickiness Jim had left her to deal with. How she longed for the mess-free nights spent with past boyfriends who willingly wore condoms—unlike Jim. Speaking of…she had to remember to swing by the pharmacy and pick up the refill on her birth control pills. One more thing to add to her already overloaded schedule.

  Bad sex, daily pills—it made Jane wonder if it were worth keeping him in her life. Swinging her feet to the ground, she padded naked to her dresser and pulled out her old extra-large T-shirt. The one she hid from dates while pretending she slept every night in the scratchy lace lingerie she wore for them. Fuck it. Let Jim see her ratty, slightly grey T-shirt. Maybe he’d break it off with her and save her the trouble.

  The soft, worn cotton slid over her skin, the hem landing at her knees. He raised a brow as he watched her slip it on. Yup, he hated the shirt. Good.

  He zipped up his fly. “Oh, I almost forgot. I got the credit card bill from last month. Your half of our vacation comes to five hundred dollars. Actually, it was like four-seventy-nine so I rounded it up.”

  Jane frowned. “What vacation?”

  “The trip to Martha’s Vineyard.”

  “Where you invited me to be your date to your cousin’s wedding? Where I spent the entire night entertaining your spinster aunt talking about her cats while you did shots at the bar with the guys? Yeah, real vacation.”

  A crease marred Jim’s usually perfect brow. “I thought you had fun.”

  “Jim, the point is you invited me to your family’s event. In my mind that means you pay.” She crossed her arms tightly in front of her chest.

  “Well, not in my mind. You and I always split things evenly when we go out. I mean that’s what we agreed to when we started dating.”

  That—splitting everything—was getting pretty annoying too. Jane walked to the nightstand and pulled out her checkbook and a pen.

  “No, you’re right. We always do split things exactly equally no matter what you order at the restaurant so fair is fair and I am totally going to pay you for half of that vacation.”

  As she rambled Jane filled out a check for exactly four-hundred-and-seventy-nine dollars, even taking the time to write the word “vacation” in big capital letters in the memo space.

  She tore it out so hard the very top edge of the check stayed attached to the checkbook. Ignoring that, she thrust it at him. “Here you go.”

  “Look, Jane. I just thought this is the way we mutually decided to keep things between us. Right? No strings. Nothing too serious.”

  Jane nodded. “I know. I definitely want no strings and nothing serious.” Especially with him.

  Didn’t it just figure? Workaholic that she was, she never took the time to go on vacation. The one time she let herself be persuaded to get away because it was only for the weekend, it had to be with this colossal idiot and the damn thing cost her nearly five hundred bucks.

  She scowled at the thought, but Jim didn’t seem to notice as he took the check with a smile. “I’m glad we see things the same way.”

  “Yup.” What Jane would really like to see is her apartment door closing behind Jim’s khaki-clad butt before she was tempted to kick him in it.

  Cheap and bad in bed. She’d thought the good parts—his hot car and great job and perfect appearance—would outweigh the bad. She’d been wrong. Some things were deal breakers. Steady sex—bad sex at that—was not worth this.

  “So I
’ll call you.”

  “Great.” She knew he would too. When he got horny or didn’t feel like eating dinner alone. At which time instead of being available for him, Jane would break it off over the phone. Shitty to not do it in person, but after all, it wasn’t serious. No strings. That’s what they’d agreed on.

  He paused by the door, his hand on the knob as he looked back at her. “That shirt should probably go in the garbage. It looks like it’s seen better days and it makes you look fat.”

  Jane glanced down at the T-shirt with the name of her law school emblazoned across the chest. The shirt she’d studied, slept, went to the gym and even occasionally had sex—good sex—in for the three years she’d been in law school. The memories it carried were as comforting as the feel of the soft cotton against her skin.

  “Yeah, you know, I’ve been meaning to get rid of a few things I’ve kept around for too long. I think it’s time.”

  Little did Jim know he was the thing she was about to expel from her life, not the shirt. In fact, Candice had made the suggestion months ago, right after Jane described Jim’s unique lovemaking technique to her over drinks at the bar.

  He nodded. “That’s smart.”

  “Yeah. It is.” Jane nodded in agreement.

  “Chow.” Jim winked at her and was gone.

  His ridiculous parting word made her clench her teeth, torn between laughing and throwing something as the door closed behind him. He wasn’t even Italian. His parents were both Irish.

  It didn’t matter. It was over. Jane sighed and headed directly for the kitchen. She popped the aluminum tin of garlic knots into the oven to warm, and then headed to the bedroom, intent on finishing the job Jim hadn’t. Jane reached into the bottom drawer of her nightstand and pulled out her battery-operated backup plan.

  Already wet, her body welcomed the life-sized vibrator. Flat on her back, knees bent and spread, Jane worked it in and out. She fucked herself hard and deep, reaching places Jim’s crappy technique didn’t come close to touching. She lifted her hips and changed the angle. Her muscles gripped the shaft. Flipping on the clit tickler, she took the pleasure to the next level. The deeply satisfying pulsing of her orgasm began and heightened as it worked her muscles into a spasm.

  In less than two minutes she’d reached a level of pleasure Jim hadn’t been able to get her to all night. Who the hell needed a man when there were vibrators?

  She was in the midst of a hip bucking, breath stealing climax when the phone next to her head on the nightstand rang. Crazy multi-tasking modern woman that she was, Jane glanced at the caller ID read-out and groaned. It was her mother. That was enough to almost ruin a perfectly good orgasm. She closed her eyes and blocked out both the discovery and the ringing, riding the waves as they continued.

  Her cell phone started to ring just seconds after the house phone stopped. She groaned, knowing it was her mother just trying to track her down. Next time Jane did this, which would probably be soon since Jim was no longer going to be a part of her life anymore—a hell of a lot of good he did her in the orgasm department anyway—she would turn off all the phones.

  Throwing the tickler on high speed, Jane had just decided to go for orgasm number two when the noise from her cell phone ceased and the house phone began to sound again. Jane punched the off button on the vibe and sat bolt upright.

  Breathless from the orgasm and now concern as well, she grabbed the receiver. “Mom. What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing’s wrong. I was just going to leave a message since you weren’t picking up.”

  “Oh my God. I thought something had happened. Jeez, Mom. Don’t do that. You scared the hell out of me.”

  “Well, if you’d answer your phone once in a while when I call you… Why didn’t you pick up the first time if you’re home?”

  Jane considered that one. Nope, as much as she’d enjoy the moment of shocked silence it might yield, she couldn’t tell her mother what she’d really been doing. “I was in the shower.”

  “Oh. Okay. So I was calling to ask what you want for your birthday.”

  “My birthday? That’s what you’re calling about? Now? It’s not for an entire month.” Annoyed but still hungry, Jane stood. In her comfy T-shirt, which apparently made her look fat, she walked barefoot toward the kitchen and the wafting aroma of garlic.

  “I know. I mark all the birthdays in my calendar one month in advance so I have time to shop or send a card.” Her mother’s tone held a distinct air of superiority in it. As if anyone who didn’t plan at least a month ahead was lesser.

  Or maybe that was just Jane’s guilt making her feel lesser. Her own birthday gift to her mother had been a few weeks late this year. Okay, a month late, but in Jane’s defense she’d been busy. She did have a very demanding law career.

  She sighed. “I don’t know what I want, Mom. I’ll think about it and get back to you.”

  Her need for a decent boyfriend came to mind. Or even just a good booty call at this point. Barring those, a gift certificate to the sex shop for a new vibrator maybe? Her sex life truly was pitiful.

  “All right, but let me know. Otherwise I have a few things here I was thinking of giving you.”

  Oh man. That was never good. Her mother’s collection of gift items she picked up throughout the year “just in case” was always a gamble. It could be anything. Some good, some not so good.

  “I will, Mom.” Jane grabbed a potholder out of the kitchen draw and pulled the aluminum tin of garlic knots out of the oven.

  Her mouth started to water just from smelling them. They would be perfect with a salad but she wasn’t in the mood to make one. Cooking for one was really not inspiring most days. She should try to get more greens into her diet, but today, in desperate need of comfort food and with the munchies now after her orgasm, she’d just enjoy the tiny bites of buttery, hot, garlicky goodness. Jane could worry about the nutritional value of her meal choices tomorrow. It’s not like she’d have Jim to worry about. At least she wouldn’t after she dumped him. She was kind of looking forward to it.

  “So what are you doing tonight?” her mother asked.

  Jane chewed her mouthful of bread and tried to swallow too fast so she could answer, nearly choking in the process. “I guess I’ll try to find a movie on TV or something.”

  Not exactly… After stuffing her face, Jane had every intention of going back for round two with her vibrator. She was still feeling the need to make up for the unsatisfactory sex with Jim.

  “Okay, I’ll let you go then. Don’t forget to call me about your gift.”

  “I won’t, Mom.”

  “Good night.”

  “Good night.” Jane disconnected the call and put the phone on the counter. She grabbed another knot and shoved it into her mouth, closed her eyes and enjoyed the flavor. Yup, enough carbs and batteries and she’d be just fine without a man—for a little while anyway.

  Wet heat engulfed him, surrounding Damian.

  Reaching down, he felt blindly until his fingers tangled in her hair as he grabbed and held her head. He groaned and pressed deeper, pumping into the warmth, absorbing the building ecstasy.

  What felt like the rough flat of a tongue stroked from the base of his cock all the way up, pausing at the very tip to tease the slit, pushing into him and making him squirm. Then her mouth slid back down and he was buried again, balls deep.

  Powerful waves of pleasure shot from his dick straight through to his balls. She moaned and the vibration heightened the already overwhelming sensations. The tingling grew and spread. His balls drew up and tightened, ready to release. She grasped them in one hand and squeezed hard, causing a mixture of pleasure and pain.

  The pressure built. He pulled her head down tighter and plunged faster, hitting the back of her throat with each thrust.

  Slick saliva crept down his shaft, washing him in warm wetness, trickling into his crack. He felt her finger trail through it, then circle his tight hole. He held still and let her penetrate him. Her fingertip
pushed past tight muscles to press inside. Bending one knee he pushed down against the digit, forcing it deeper to hit the spot that had him ready to explode. Then he fucked her mouth hard and fast. With a shout he came, each spasm sending a spurt deep into the hot channel of her throat.

  Her muffled cough had him pulling back. Damian fought his way toward full consciousness, up through the residual haze of slumber. Still twitching, he withdrew totally.

  He’d been in a deep sleep, the kind he rarely got. It was amazing he’d gotten to sleep at all considering the sun was shining and the rest of the city would be beginning to get started with their days. Meanwhile Damian, after locking up the bar and rolling around for a while with this girl before finally closing his eyes just after sunrise, was only starting on his recommended eight hours when the mouth around his cock had woken him.

  He’d thought he’d been dreaming at first, but that orgasm was very real. So was the head of hair he untangled his fingers from as she removed her finger from his ass. He hissed in a breath as she pulled out more quickly and much less gently than he was comfortable with. He forced his eyes open to see—what was her name? God, he was so tired he had to focus for a moment and think. Brittany—that was it. She sat up and wiped the back of her hand across her lips.

  “Good morning.” With a smile, she crawled up the bed and aimed her mouth, the one he’d just come in, directly as his.

  Damian backed up and grabbed her arms. “No kissing right now, baby. I’ve got morning breath.”

  A practiced pout settled on the lips that were just moments ago wrapped around him. “I don’t care.”

  He laughed. “Maybe not, but I do.”

  In his current state of exhaustion, he couldn’t face tasting his own semen off the lips of a girl he’d known for just a few hours. Call him selfish, but it was the truth. Nothing against her at all.

  Hell, he liked her well enough. They’d fucked like rabbits when they’d tumbled into her bed straight from the end of his shift. They’d met that night at the bar where she’d flirted her ass off with him and waited for him to lock up. And yeah, she’d just given him a pretty incredible blowjob without his having to hint or ask for it, but he’d have probably been more appreciative a little later in the morning.